Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Top Ten Tuesday #1

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish 
Today's Top Ten Tuesday topic: Top 10 most intimidating books. Whether it's because of length or just because you don't want to read it, whatever makes it intimidating, it fits the topic. Here are my picks:

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I have suffered through a lot of bad books, but I think even this one would top them all. And need I really say why? Okay, I will. Because of the ridiculous fandom surrounding it; because of the sparkly vampires; because of the teen angst; because of the lack of an actual storyline - or even an actual plot! Because of the thousands of passages describing Edward's marble chest, cool sculpted lips, and delicious breath. And because it is, simply, Twilight. Enough said.

Obsidian by Jennifer A. Armentrout. A challenge for my dear Readers: go onto Goodreads (or Amazon, if you don't have a Goodreads account) and just look at the synopsis for this book. Just read it. And then come back and take a wild guess as to why this is listed as Number 2 of the most intimidating books for me. If the cover isn't indicative enough, let me give you a hint: hot extraterrestrial next door. Umm . . . No. Not my cup of tea, thank you very much. This sounds like the exact sort of vomit-inducing teen romance that I always try to avoid at all costs.

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. My resolute reluctance to read this book - or any connected to it - may stem mostly from the girl fandom surrounding it. The movie trailer - with the creepy Goldie Locks guy - also helped. But the theme of vampires, demons, dead people, and a love triangle definitely made me reject it as soon as I saw it on shelves. Fandoms and the movie just solidified that decision.

Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater. After suffering through the first book in this series, there is nothing on Earth that would induce me to pick up its sequel. It's Twilight with faeries (literal faeries, not just guys light on their feet), and I have it on good authority that the sequel ruins the only redeeming character in the entire series. So no thank you; I have no desire to sample this particular work of fiction again. It's too bad, too; all the other Maggie Stiefvater books I've read I liked.

Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia. Witches in the South - usually something that I would pick up and give it a try. But I've heard enough about the love triangle to know that I would be screaming at the top of my lungs (and not in a delighted, fangirl fashion) before I even got ten pages in. This is yet another book whose movie and fan-base also put me off of.

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. I'm a big fan of classics, but I'll tell you that this is one classic that I have absolutely no intention of reading, and it's because I have heard that it is one of the most boring books on Earth. Length is never intimidating for me if the story promises to be interesting. But as soon as you take that away, 400+ pages can become a virtual Mount Everest. And just as treacherous.

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville. I actually do want to read this. Someday. But it is the epitome of intimidating for a lot of people. This is a book whose length makes me hesitate, especially since I have tried several times to get into it, and haven't gotten much past "Call me Ishmael." (i.e. the literal opening line) The writing style is also intimidating. I am able to get into the swing of classic writing styles very easily, but Herman Melville is just something else, and I don't mean that as a compliment. So, while I want to read it eventually, I am definitely intimidated.

The Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien. There are several reasons why I say this is intimidating. One, the fandom. Everyone seems to like it, and that rather pushes me to automatically dislike it. Two, there is Sam. I have suffered through Sam's blubbering on the BBC radio drama, and in the movies. One of my friends, who is a die-hard Tolkien fanatic, told me that Sam is worse in the book. Sam has entirely put me off of the Devon accent; that is how intimidating Sam's whining is for me. To suffer through three books of it . . . Three, I am just not into elves, dwarves, hobbits, evil rings, wizards, and the like. And there's isn't even a dragon at the end to keep me going, like with The Hobbit.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J. K. Rowling. There is the fandom, of course, and fandoms always put me off. And the concept just never caught my interest, even before the series become so bloody popular. Wizards, prophecies, a mistreated orphan boy with a truly unfortunate name, a (sorta) secret wizard school - not really my thing. Maybe Voldemort is creepier in the books than he was in the movies, but I find him laughable, so not even the villain is motivation enough. And then there's the simple fact that there are so bloody many of them! And they all get longer and longer and . . . longer.

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. I love Maggie Stiefvater's new books - like The Scorpio Races and The Raven Boys - but again: werewolves, romantic tension, big fandom. It all sounds suspiciously like Twilight (no, I'm not accusing the Author of stealing ideas; I'm just saying it's too much like Twilight, and therefore intimidates me).

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